Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Dimlight, a TWILIGHT parody (JB #14)

My Life is Twilight

“I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council.”

Chris Rock

When my addicted personality started, I cannot be sure. Perhaps early onset sodaitis occurred when I was a teen. Free to consume soda pop and other junk foods without restraint, I indulged myself. I do love pop, my all time favourite being “Wink”. I'm probably dating myself, since it has long been renamed or discontinued.

My most recent affliction is the Twilight series, overtaking my Smartfood popcorn dependency. I just can't help myself. I have to write about Twilight. I'm a closet fan. I haven't bought a t-shirt or a mug. Yet...

The love story takes hold of the reader allowing for suspension of disbelief. It's the ultimate princess story. A young awkward teen girl with a healthy dose of angst and low self esteem, a character to whom every girl can relate, meets the forbidden boy. Yummy. Take a bite out of that.

Most days, I just want to live in the fantasy world created by Meyer, just as I wanted to become a witch after I read Harry Potter. I admit, I dressed up as Professor Trelawney for two years in a row on Halloween.

After reading Meyer's series, I feel embarrassed to say, I wanted to read them again and again, and watch the movies over and over again. I could sense my husband was becoming worried. My behaviour scared him. I'll admit, I was and still am obsessed. I convinced my posse of stay at home moms to read the books. We have Twilight parties. Organize movie nights for the upcoming releases. I have trolled the fan sites and lurk in Twilight forums.

I ponder why this vampire love story is causing such a strong pull, a distraction to my usual routine? Has life become so mundane that I want to marry a vampire? If you are inclined to such addictions, I recommend total surrender. For those of you who have already arrived, check out this website. You can then feel better because some other twilight fan is far worse off than you on the addiction continuum.

"Today, I was in my kitchen. I was hungry. I got some ice cream from the freezer. The cold air from the freezer reminded me of Edward. I ate it with a spoon. The spoon reminded me of a fork. I realized that the sun was shining on my ice cream and making it sparkle." MLIT

Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Book Of Awesome

My 6th Mother's day.

Watching the sun rise from the quiet haven of my home.

Early mornings with my boys.

Hot steaming coffee sweetened slightly with Nesquik.

Life's little moments. I love the quiet. I leave the radio off.

Shielding my offspring from the daily barrage of bad news broadcast over the airwaves leaves me somewhat out of the loop on current events. Oil leaking into the Gulf of Mexico and killing all the ocean life? Vaguely familiar. The Eyjafjallajokull volcano in Iceland erupting and causing havoc with air travel? Never heard of it. The ongoing war in Iraq? Are they still fighting? Sandra Bullock adopting a baby. Well, yes, this I've been on top of.

I can't hear you! Nana nana na na.

Bad news is in our face all the time. The Greek financial crisis. The US financial crisis. Corporate Crime on the increase. Earthquakes. According to the World Food Program , a child dies from hunger every 6 seconds. If listening to the news on a daily basis doesn't send you down the turnpike of depression, then you, my dear are RESILIENT.

I often question whether we doing our kids a favour by making them believe that everyone in the world has it hunky dory. What do you mean I have to eat all my green beans because people are starving in Africa? I struggle with how much of the world's pain to convey to my kids, to prevent them from becoming ethnocentric, self indulgent, ego-maniacal, parsimonious, selfish, white collar CFO criminals. Rant rant.

Enough of the bad news. The Book of Awesome helps us to remember all of life's precious moments that make us feel warm and fuzzy good. Check out Neil Pasricha's web site for your daily dose. The popularity of this website has resulted in his book. Treat yourself. There is a special tribute to mothers on todays posting.

Monday, May 3, 2010

TONE-Z-On The Run(Justified Promo Song)

I've just started watching Justified and I'm loving the theme song. It gets you grooving.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Fallen Off the Horse, In My Sleep

One morning two weeks ago, I woke up and my right heel was injured. Sore and tender. I couldn't even walk on it. My son suggested, “maybe you slept funny.” Yes, this is what happens when you get older. You injure yourself while sleeping, cleaning, gardening and participating in your normal activities of daily living. (sigh). Bringing your fork to your mouth could lead to a puncture type injury. Forget exercising, this is way too risky an activity. I can barely get through the night safely. My poor elliptical machine is getting dusty. God forbid I start hanging my laundry on it.

I'm heading to my 20 year high school reunion next month. This milestone is the punctuation of my mid life crisis. I don't even want to think that my life might be half over, in case I jinks myself. I'm becoming very superstitious these days. In addition to mysterious injuries....(I can't remember the second half of my sentence)...oh yes, it's the memory issues. I have scrambled eggs between my head most days. It becomes more pronounced with less that eight hours sleep.

Next thing you know, I'm going to get my hair permed, start listening to easy rock, turn down the volume on my radio, and turn the volume up on my TV. Thank you to Pamela Redmond Satran for giving me pointers in “How Not to Act Old.”